White alligator sighting!

Hi kids!

Speaking of things that could eat you, while Angel Jen and I were at
the zoo we saw this white alligator.

"Oh, an albino!" I hear you young geneticists exclaiming. And you
would be wrong.

This big baby is not an albino he's "leucistic". What's the
difference between leucistic and albino? Beats me. Sometimes I suspect
scientists of making up words. I suspect it means "white skin" or
something equally obvious in Latin.

Well, he's huge, he's white, he's very very rare and he has blue eyes.
They just about can't survive in the wild because 1) he can't hide in
the water and pretend to be a log which makes it tough to catch prey
to eat and B) the rednecks like to shoot them. What is a redneck, you
ask? Just look around you, kid. The woods up there are full of them.

But don't let the blue eyes fool ya. If you were to cuddle down next
to ole whitey here, throw an arm around him and say, "My! What pretty
blue eyes you have!" Mr. Alligator would say, "CHOMP!" and you would
be alligator lunch. Then he'd say, "Mmmm-mmmm! I loves my kid
lunches! Yeah, baby!"

Remember kids, you can always trust an alligator-to be an alligator,
that is.

So be good today, kids, so the teacher doesn't have to lay an
alligator chomp on you!